when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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