...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
