I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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