So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
