Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just found a bag of teeth...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
