I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
soo... how was my night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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