So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
