ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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