Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
