They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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