My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize