I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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