watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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