Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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