So drunk its hurt
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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