So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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