I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
