My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
