piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
