So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
