You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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