plz talk dirty to me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My life is pants optional.
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