I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
