He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
worst night to have a conscience
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
