Your tits are I can't wait for
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
