Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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