why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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