I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
