Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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