i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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