are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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