this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize