so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
