She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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