you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
