it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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