Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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