I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
