I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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