Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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