Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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