11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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