Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
