I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
