I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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