I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize