Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
