that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
