if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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