sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
