she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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