you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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