ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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