a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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