took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
