I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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