life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
