you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
