I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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