I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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