Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
